One of the first things you most certainly deal with in life when you have a pws is how you are treated at school. When I was young enough that I was still in elementary school, I was made fun of by being called purple face a bunch. Honestly I have to say I hated that. It was certainly hurtful. I slowly though had to realize that most other kids just don't understand and I think I was too hurt by the name calling that it didn't occur to me to explain the little I understood about my birthmark at the time. Reflecting back at the situation though even if I weren't to hurt to try to explain the little I understood about my port wine stain birthmark at the time, I kind of doubt any of the kids would have listened to me anyway.
After 3rd grade, which was the last grade in my elementary school, I then went to Cornerstone Christian School which was the school started by my home church. I was in Cornerstone Christian school from 4th through 8th grade. During that point in time I didn't have to put up with any sort of name calling because the school was Christian. I have also noticed that even though there are people out their who don't go to Christian schools that are more sensitive to peoples feelings it seems like people who put their children in Christian schools tend to be more careful that their children act more appropriately. I can't imagine therefore what I would have had to put up with if I were not in a Christian school from 4th-8th grade. After 8th grade then I didn't ever have to worry about that most of the time because I was home schooled. There were a couple of classes in high school though that I went to the Clark County Vocational Skills Center to take. That was the only time in high school I once again had to put up with the insensitive comments that people tend to make, buy by this time the comments weren't about my birthmark anymore, however let me show you what I looked like at that point in time anyway.
I do think though that people were feeling that I was retarded because of seeing my birthmark and treated me as such.
I don't tell you all this to say please feel sorry for me because I dealt with the name calling in elementary school and the patronizing about other things in high school. The past is past and I tend to focus my energys more on the present. So you say why are you telling me all this? Let me answer that. The reason is to explain my experiences to you so that if you are a parent of a child with a port wine stain you can know what to expect. It certainly is not easy. Make sure and remind your child that if he/she is made fun of that it is probably because the child making fun of them does not have someone over them consistently telling them to ask the person they are making fun of about their pws. In addition it is important that the child with the bad behavior know that kind of behavior is wrong and unacceptable especially when you consider the fact that it could lead to them setting themselves up for failure down the road in their own life because of not being able to relate well with others. That kind of behavior would certainly not bode well in the work place.
Anyway, getting back to my case though, because I didn't want to be called names I internalized my frustrated feelings and didn't say much to people at all so that I wouldn't have to worry about the possibility of being made fun of. Probably the better approach though is to have your child tell the child that is making fun of them that it is hurtful and could they please stop with the name calling. After my experiences over the years one conclusion I have come to is that if I sense someone is wondering about my birthmark, but is too shy to ask me I ask them if that is what they are wondering about and if so I proceed to explain. I find that once kids understand what is going on they aren't afraid of it anymore and alot of times will walk off which is fine. In some cases the original curiousity is because people think my birthmark is a bad burn and thinking it would really hurt which isn't the case at all. Then when I come into contact with people who enjoy saying unkind things I just assume they have a problem that they need to work on and haven't done so yet.