As those of us who live with a Port Wine Stain will tell you, when you live with a Port Wine Stain you have to come up with ways to make people feel comfortable when seeing it so they won't judge you on the basis of it. However if people feel the need to tease myself or others with a Port Wine Stain, a.k.a. PWS, it is not in our interest to pay much attention to the teasers. We don't want to allow others opinions to get in the way of our being ourselves wherever we are. Many of you who don't have a PWS I am sure wouldn't want to always have to look over your shoulder worrying if someone was going to tease you about something that takes time to fix. Having said that I stopped letting teasing bother me much long ago, but I think it could possibly be a challenge for some of the others to do the same. Speaking of teasing, I would be interested to hear some ways in which those who have a PWS or hemangioma have dealt with teasing over the years. Please share your story with me. I have heard from a few of you that the teasing is what has brought you to the point that you decided to wear skin tone makeup or get treatment for your PWS.
When discussing treatments, one thing you may want to think about for the first week post surgery, is to make sure you have planned to take that week off since your body will need the rest. After this last surgery which just so happened to be my last one for a little while, I slept a lot in the first five days post surgery because it takes a while to get energy back and even then my energy didn't fully return until the seventh or eighth day after my surgery. Even after that point it still takes close to five weeks for the swelling to fully subside. By the end of the first week after surgery I had my strength back, but I still had a drain in my face. Certainly that wasn't comfortable either, but I still went in public even though I was in the healing process.
When some people see someone with a birthmark then they immediately assume that there are other things wrong with them as well. For those who find themselves doing this please take it from someone with a Port Wine Stain, ask them first. Yes some do struggle with other issues, resulting from their PWS, but until they tell you that then it is not fair to the person with the PWS. Even if they do deal with other issues that doesn't necessarily mean they are not able to keep on top of them. In addition it can come off as an insult to the person with the PWS.
When you are relating to the public at large, you need to be prepared to explain to people the story on your Port Wine Stain, also known as a birthmark. I think part of the reason living with a PWS can be challenging is because people want to either undersand things or find someone to make fun of. Part of the reason you have people making fun of others is because, as I say elsewhere, they were not taught to treat others kindly. In fact if you click the link below you will be shown an example of someone who has dealt with misunderstandings.
Some peoples cases however, are not as bad as others. As a result some people will experience less teasing than others. Unfortunately outer appearances can sometimes be deceiving and can appear like a certain condition is more involved. Having said that, those of us with a birthmark know that no matter how involved a birthmark is, in most cases they are harmless. Though we can get treatment for them it isn't always necessary. I think for people with a birthmark who desire to date, it can be a challenge, because whoever the other party is, may assume the worst about someone's PWS or Straberry Hemangioma before asking. Speaking of people's PWS or Straberry Hemangioma, I list a few case stories below. I may add more stories as I find them as well..
Port Wine Stain
Ros Pryor
Hemangioma Story
Obviously an important part of life is employment. Unfortunately when living with a PWS, it is all too easy for people to reject you for employment simply because you have a birthmark. They judge you and draw conclusions about your intelligence based on your appearance. As far as I am concerned that is just not right. It is discrimination and it is illegal. The importance of looking past the outside doesn't only relate to me though, it relates to anyone living with a port wine stain. In addition, I think it must be hard for people to look past the birthmark and consider the person himself for who and what he/she is. Given that fact I am surprised, impressed, and happy simultaneously when I find someone with a PWS who has a spouse. I say that because it shows that the partner was able to look past the birthark and at the person inside instead. Looking at a persons personality instead of just a mark on their body is something that shows that they are more mature. That is the case whether it is a spouse or an employer. Having said all that, if those of us with birthmarks do get employed I have had the experience that people are afraid to let me do much on the job. I am convinced it is because of my birthmark as well. In the following link you will see an example of someone who was discriminated against because of their birthmark.
As one who has had a birthmark all my life, I can attest to how frustrating the misunderstandings of employers of employers can be. I can't stress enough to current and potential employers of those with birthmarks how important it is to look past the outer person and look at the inner person instead. Unfortunately it is all to easy for people not to do this. That is why it can sometimes be tricky to find work. If you are one who is looking for a job and don't want to think about potential employers possibly discriminating against you, you can always wear makeup to cover your PWS up so you don't have to think about the negative reactions of potential employers. If you would like to look at some of the sites that sell the makeup I have listed a few places below for you.
Blemsh Be Gone
Covermark
Igia Shop
If you be interested talking with me more about what you have had done regarding your PWS, what to do, or have comments write me. I would especially be interested to hear from those of you have had similar experiences to what I mention here.
Up till now we have been talking about how we deal with our birthmarks and the misunderstandings that we have because of them. Having said all this there is at least one big influence out that fan the flame of those views, namely the movie industry. If you pay attention to the way people look at birthmarks even in the media, you will notice how people use birthmarks when they are trying to point out a person who should be avoided. Though there probably are a few people with birthmarks for various reasons, their PWS should never be a reason to avoid them. In fact as people well know just because a person has a PWS doesn't mean they still couldn't contribute to society. There still are people with PWS who made contributions to society in spite of the PWS.